How to Break the News of Your Divorce to Your Kids
Deciding to end your marriage is never an easy one. You thought a lot about getting to this moment, but now it’s time to confront another challenge: telling your kids. While this process is a hard one, it’s also one they need before moving into the next phase of their lives. Read on to discover tips for making this conversation a little easier on you and your kids.
Approach the Subject Carefully
Most marriages don't end well. You may not be on good terms with each other, and your emotions are still raw surrounding what happened between you and your spouse. But it would help if you still were prepared to approach the subject of divorce on the same page. Kids might already suspect that your marriage was rocky. Kids of varying ages will respond to the news of the divorce differently because they have different understandings of what divorce means at different ages.
If you have young children, you will want to maintain any current routines you have as best as you can. This will provide consistency for your children during a time when their lives are fundamentally changing. You should also be sure to continue to remind your youngest children that the divorce is not their fault and that both of their parents love them unconditionally. You may even want to be extra affectionate with your children during these emotional times.
If you have older children and teenagers, speak to them honestly. You might also take the time to explain to your older kids how the divorce will affect their lives. Will they need to change schools? Are they going to be changing their primary residence? Try to uproot their lives as minimally as possible if you can do so. Although they’re not adults, avoid the mistake of talking to them like younger children. Qualifying for Record Sealing and Expungement in Colorado
You know that only juvenile offenses are eligible for expungement. But what about record sealing? Is any adult charged with or convicted of a crime eligible to have their criminal record expunged? The short answer is no. Only certain crimes will qualify for expungement. The majority of non-violent misdemeanors may qualify for record sealing.
But there are many types of crimes that are not eligible for record sealing in the state of Colorado. Sex crimes, domestic violence offenses, and DUIs are only a few of the more common crimes that will remain on your record indefinitely. If you are unsure whether you can get your record sealed in Colorado, contact criminal defense lawyer Mitch Geller to find out.
Discuss Talking Points With Your Spouse
You and your spouse may be at a volatile place in your relationship, but there should be clear points you bring up when discussing your impending divorce with your children. You don't have to go into the details about why your marriage is ending, but you should be clear and straightforward in explaining these changes. A couple of crucial points you'll want to include when you sit down with your spouse to tell your children about the divorce include:
Both parents will be happier
The divorce isn’t their fault
They will now have two family homes
Both parents still and always will love them
Make sure you break the news to your children together as their parenting unit. Try to remain calm and keep your emotions under control as your children may be looking to you to see how to react. They may have mixed feelings about the divorce. Be ready to reassure them that they are safe and well-loved despite these changes.
Be Ready to Answer Their Questions
Your children's lives are going to change from this point forward fundamentally. So it's entirely natural for them to have questions. Some they may ask immediately, such as:
Who will I live with? (Some might also express a preference to live with a particular parent.)
“Why are you getting a divorce?”
“If I’m good, will you get back together?”
“Will I have to move?”
“When will I see you?”
“Is it my fault?”
Answer these questions as honestly and carefully as you can. The details of your divorce are not important at this time in your children’s lives. What matters most is helping them feel secure and loved. One of the most common questions that parents grapple with is “should I give my children the choice of who to live with?” For most families, this will put unnecessary pressure on the children. The children won’t be able to escape the feeling that no matter which parent they choose, they’re betraying the other one.
You can explain what kinds of changes the children can expect in their everyday lives and plan accordingly for those changes. Your children may or may not adapt quickly to your child custody and parenting plans. It would be best if you were prepared to help your children cope no matter which way they respond. The most important thing you can do for your children when breaking the news of your divorce is to be there for them.
Get Help From a Colorado Family Lawyer
Going through a divorce is difficult. Telling your children is often one of the more challenging elements you’ll have to deal with. Make sure you have a knowledgeable Colorado family lawyer in your corner to help guide you through it. Attorney Mitch Geller can support you throughout your entire divorce. Schedule a free, no-obligation consultation when you fill out our quick contact form or call our office by phone at 720-696-7897.