Contrary to popular belief, there is more than one way to handle your divorce in Colorado. The long, drawn-out court battles you have seen in the movies and on TV do happen occasionally, but they are certainly not the norm. In fact, it is best to keep your divorce out of court as much as possible.

When you have a divorce case that goes to trial, you will spend a lot more money on legal fees, and the divorce will drag out for longer. In addition to being a more expensive and stressful approach, the judge will end up making the major decisions in your divorce. This means that child custody, property settlement, and other significant divorce issues will be decided by a person who does not know you or your family.

Instead of putting your divorce solely into the hands of a judge, you can explore other avenues that give you more control over what happens, cost less, and typically do not take as long as a court battle. One popular avenue is the mediation process.

What is divorce mediation?
In mediation, you and your spouse work with a third party, known as a mediator, to help work out the major issues in your divorce. The mediator must be a neutral party as they may not behave fairly if they have any connections to you or your spouse. It is important to note that they cannot give you legal advice. This is why you should have your own attorney at your side if you choose mediation.

Mediation is now required in almost every domestic relations court in the State of Colorado.

How does the divorce mediation process work in Colorado?
Before you get started, you should keep in mind that mediators have no power. They do not make decisions or issue rulings and are there simply to facilitate an agreement between the parties.

Each mediator may have his or her own approach, but the process typically begins with a mediation meeting. These are usually held in an office or conference room, but the current pandemic has moved most of them to the virtual space. It is unclear how this will change the process going forward.

At the first meeting, the mediator will tell you what you can expect from this process. For example, you may learn that you will all be in the same room for the process or that you will meet in separate sessions with the mediator so he or shecan get your positions or views.

Some housekeeping is usually done here, too. You might be asked to sign an agreement that ensures everything said in the mediation remains private. During this meeting, the mediator will likely work to make you and your spouse feel more comfortable by establishing some rapport with both of you.

Once the basics are reviewed, you and your spouse will be able to make a brief statement about what is going on. After each of you speak, the mediator will probably ask questions to get more information or clarify the issues. They may also refer back to what each of you has said to ensure all points are understood by the mediator, you, and your spouse.

Next, the mediator will determine what issues you and your spouse currently agree on and which ones you need help with. This gives everyone a clear idea of what needs to be accomplished, and all three of you – you, your spouse, and the mediator – will make a plan to tackle it. You will likely be asked to gather more information, especially for issues such as property division and child custody.

This is where negotiations begin. Mediators usually suggest you tackle simpler matters first. Those easier questions can help encourage compromise and build the trust you and your spouse will need to handle the tougher issues. Keep in mind that negotiations may not be linear; you can start with what almost seems like the end, and some aspects may need to be pushed back as you obtain more information.

For successful mediation, you must try to understand your spouse's position, even if you don't share it, and you need to be willing to compromise sometimes. If you cannot reach an agreement during mediation, you will probably end up in court, and you are unlikely to get every single thing you asked for there.

If your negotiations are successful, either your attorney or the mediator will write out an agreement that covers all the terms as handled via mediation. This will become part of your final divorce paperwork and will be legally formalized once it has been filed in court.

Although mediation generally follows this process, it can vary slightly under certain circumstances. Speak to your attorney if you want more specific information about how mediation will work in your case.

It is important to have a lawyer in mediation proceedings during your divorce or post-decree matters to protect your interests. Mediation is not something that you should do on your own. Call Colorado divorce attorney Mitch Geller for help today at 720-696-7897.